I. 1993. We travel to Jersey to visit Aunt Sue. In her living room, I gape at a skeleton picked clean by unseen vultures, a too-blue sky. What's that? I ask, afraid. Georgia O’Keefe, she says. It’s called "Pelvis Two." I stick out my tongue. I am young but I know of the invisible predator, of how the hungry can seduce. I want to ask if "Pelvis One" shows birds pecking at a body. It always starts with a peck. But before I can, Mom says, "Honey, come kiss me." II. 2008. The day ...
trotting into the sprinkler spray, frightening sweetly when you get wet—meet the whole god-damning summer squall of me. I'll drip the paisley down your sides, swell and simulacra you into a billboard fit to advertise my most commercial cravings. You cannot thin yourself into un -assuming. I see you for what you are: a fraud who needs feeding from a trough bigger than this terminal highway. Look, puppy, 90-Degree Jawline plucks women from the street as he preens the brittlest leaves from his garden bed. Say it with me: ...
Lately, I've been focusing on writing about some early childhood memories and how they thread through to my current interpersonal issues. There's so much fear of self bottled up in me. I believe I have PTSD not just because I've experienced some traumatic events in my life, but also because, as my therapist would say, I developed a Theory Of Mind at an age when it was most unwelcome. People don't think much of kids' notions of causality, and how even their minor movements can disrupt those notions for decades to come. So I've been working on this memoir that centers around what it's like to live in my head, and my experiences with psychological disorders in my family. Here's an excerpt. ***** At first, I told Mom and Dad about the crabs that scuttled across my carpet, then scaled the grey covers toward ...
On April 6th, 2012, I kissed my then-husband quickly as he moved his mouth to give me my instructions for the next four months: "Be careful." I didn't know when I might see him next. I was about to embark on my dissertation field research trip to rural, mountainous Northern California. Though neither of us had openly discussed our feelings, I knew we had both considered the possibility that this extended separation would lead to the end of our tenuous relationship. To be honest, being away from him for so long did worry me. But it excited me more. And I was seriously fed up after having to spend so many hours leading up to my departure listening to him and others talk about how hard it was going to be on them when I left... for one of the most important experiences in my ...
